We're facebook friends in real life
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize