My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
