we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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