Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize