ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward