How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i may or may not be watching the land before time
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
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we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
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Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog