Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
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You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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