btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.