i think i have two assholes
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
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Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
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Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...