dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.