Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night