Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.