your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans