we made out on top of his cat.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing