i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
