Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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