Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
