So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize