i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
