so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize