How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
