Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My friends, they love my intelligence

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  (303): My friends, they love my intelligence http://tfl.nu/tu5a
  Replies (2) Good night (1314) Bad night (711)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.

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  (201): I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people. http://tfl.nu/03zs
  Replies (13) Good night (1314) Bad night (716)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.

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  (503): I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight. http://tfl.nu/6osy
  Replies (37) Good night (5837) Bad night (719)
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  (408): View more from California

  every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.

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  (408): every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better. http://tfl.nu/nucz
  Replies (10) Good night (3069) Bad night (987)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..

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  (314): Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is.. http://tfl.nu/1wrs
  Replies (50) Good night (2341) Bad night (9540)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!

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  (301): My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW! http://tfl.nu/gdwn
  Replies (6) Good night (883) Bad night (5461)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit

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  (515): Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit http://tfl.nu/4m5n
  Replies (4) Good night (785) Bad night (2341)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time

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  (719): She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time http://tfl.nu/gadq
  Replies (21) Good night (6878) Bad night (1461)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts

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  (303): doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts http://tfl.nu/5nex
  Replies (7) Good night (1683) Bad night (1532)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free

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  (708): And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free http://tfl.nu/lgkw
  Replies (4) Good night (1962) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.

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  (208): Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now. http://tfl.nu/bdx8
  Replies (7) Good night (1693) Bad night (847)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.

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  (902): Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends. http://tfl.nu/0yi1
  Replies (12) Good night (2427) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions

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  (908): Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b? (340): It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions http://tfl.nu/22dq
  Replies (2) Good night (942) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.

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  (720): Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying. http://tfl.nu/q0t7
  Replies (0) Good night (613) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.

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  (209): I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night. http://tfl.nu/48e5
  Replies (0) Good night (336) Bad night (423)

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