Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(339): View more from Massachusetts

so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...

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(339): so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning... http://tfl.nu/swvs

Replies (40) Good night (551) Bad night (2579)
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(705): View more from Ontario

Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?

(1-705): View more from Ontario

That would be awkward if he commented on your status

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(705): Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom? (1-705): That would be awkward if he commented on your status http://tfl.nu/877y

Replies (18) Good night (914) Bad night (2747)
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(513): View more from Ohio

the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.

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(513): the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust. http://tfl.nu/fcbh

Replies (21) Good night (583) Bad night (5791)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

which gay bar do you need a ride home from?

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(405): Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you. (1-405): which gay bar do you need a ride home from? http://tfl.nu/2t13

Replies (14) Good night (1508) Bad night (4850)
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(319): View more from Iowa

then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.

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(319): then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween. http://tfl.nu/ifuh

Replies (15) Good night (3899) Bad night (532)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.

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(630): Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song. http://tfl.nu/ltnq

Replies (47) Good night (985) Bad night (5094)
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(630): View more from Illinois

you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.

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(630): you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid. http://tfl.nu/ndn7

Replies (5) Good night (5728) Bad night (1676)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.

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(604): mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday. http://tfl.nu/2gms

Replies (7) Good night (912) Bad night (4570)
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(805): View more from California

That bad?

(1-805): View more from California

Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.

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(805): That bad? (1-805): Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding. http://tfl.nu/ntsx

Replies (14) Good night (861) Bad night (4630)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.

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(609): I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something. http://tfl.nu/5sjh

Replies (21) Good night (5000) Bad night (1109)
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(716): View more from New York

Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting

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(716): Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting http://tfl.nu/p9om

Replies (9) Good night (2799) Bad night (1062)
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(706): View more from Georgia

He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?

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(706): He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/9suz

Replies (32) Good night (1434) Bad night (4840)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

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(778): they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date? http://tfl.nu/4653

Replies (1) Good night (439) Bad night (843)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.

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(505): I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask. http://tfl.nu/ia8j

Replies (8) Good night (604) Bad night (431)
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(989): View more from Michigan

Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in

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(989): Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in http://tfl.nu/tuaf

Replies (4) Good night (975) Bad night (456)

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