I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
