Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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