Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize