I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
