i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
