I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Watching her eat just hurts me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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