JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet