If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful