yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
