hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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