Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
