i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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