Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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