He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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