Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
