If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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