Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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