well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
