if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
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Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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