I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Mom said you looked used
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised