well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
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Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore