hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.