i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.