i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
