Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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