After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
