That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
my being single is dangerous.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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