dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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