from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize