Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?