Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?