I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.