he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I supernannyed him into submission