I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES