I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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