just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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