I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.