I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
