i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
