i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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