We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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