"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
