Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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